Suicide

Suicide. One simple word. One scary word. A word with so much meaning. This word evokes many thoughts and feelings from me. I just saw a video (click THIS LINK to view the video) that my aunt shared on Facebook. It gave me the cold chills and even brought tears to my eyes. The cop – he knew something was up with this man. And when he saw the man trying to end his life, he saved him! The cop did not handcuff the man or treat him horribly, he simply stood him up and wrapped his arm around him. I shared this video with the caption “There is good in the world.” And I do believe it. I often wonder where the good is in this crazy, sick world. I often feel bad for bringing my sweetest child in to such a scary place. I can only protect him from so much. It’s 1:08 AM right now, as I’m writing this. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the video.

There is always a time and a place to talk about suicide awareness.

It’s a touchy subject and therefore it’s not talked about often, but according to save.org, a person dies from suicide every 16.2 minutes. That’s quite a bit of people! Roughly 6 people an hour. If you don’t know what it’s like to literally be at rock bottom and not want to even wake up, to not want to see your friends and family, to not want to do something you love doing, to just “sleep” forever, then you may not understand what I am going to say. I’ll tell you this: I know what it’s like to feel all of those things I have listed. I know what it’s like to contemplate suicide. I know how it feels to be at the lowest point ever. I’ve been there. Several times. I try to come off as a happy person who loves life – and at this point in my life, I really don’t have to try. Because I am happy. Because I do love my life. Don’t get me wrong – I do still have those days when I don’t even want to crawl out of bed, but I see my sweet son smiling at me, pulling me out of bed to play and I’m instantly better.

In the 5th grade, I was put through some tough shit. More than anyone of any age should ever have to go through. My mom was going to put my baby brother up for adoption. She was going to leave the state. She was going to leave me. She was a meth addict. She went to jail. I was no longer an only child in the home that I grew up in {my dads}. I didn’t matter anymore. My dad didn’t care about me because he was too wrapped up in his wife and new baby. He even flat out told me to my face that he “would ALWAYS take her side because she was his wife.” That sentence is still extremely clear in my head. I can see me standing in the kitchen corner and can hear him tell me that. No one was there for me anymore. I had to fend for myself. That is where my depression and independence stemmed.

I have contemplated suicide more times that I can count. I’ve even came THIS CLOSE several times, but my thoughts would always lead back to my siblings (these thoughts were before I had Karsyn). I couldn’t do that to them. I am the oldest. They looked (and still do) up to me. What a horrible example I would be setting for them. I didn’t want them to have to go through that. I didn’t really care about what my parents thought because I was a teenager and they were somewhat part of the root of my unhappiness. The last time I seriously ever considered killing myself sticks out in my head so clearly. It’s almost like I am reliving that awful day. I was out of town with a friend and we got in to some serious trouble. Our parents were called and her parent’s said she had to stay there at the DT. My mom told the cops to let me drive home. So I had about a 2 hour drive. By myself. I cried the entire way home. I called my mom after I had got some gas and then I shut my phone off. I turned it on about every 30 minutes and each time I had several texts from my mom and Kade. Kade was worried and my mom was just mad. I shut my phone off and cried some more. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and I looked like I had been beat. My eyes were bloodshot from crying so hard. My entire face was puffy and black from my running mascara. I’m sure that people passing me thought I was crazy – and to an extent, I was. I could hardly see the road through my tears. I wasn’t paying attention to the road at all because my thoughts were elsewhere. Thinking about how I was going to do it. I just couldn’t go home and face the wrath of my parents. I knew I had made a huge mistake and it wasn’t ever going to get better. My life was over. “I can get off the freeway and take a side road and no one will ever find me.” “I’ll go drive off a cliff.” “I will pull over and crouch down in front of my car and when I see a semi coming, I’ll run out in front of it,” kind of like the man in the video and the train.

Despite these horrible thoughts, I made it home safe. I pulled up and my mom was waiting for me outside in the driveway with her hands on her hips. She was mad, angry. I slowly got out of the car and sat down and cried. “You get to call your dad and tell him what you did,” she said. “Noooooooooo!” I cried. There is seriously nothing worse than your parents being disappointed in you. Nothing. This all happened in the summer and I was supposed to be at my mom’s house for a month. My month had just started – I was maybe half way in. I ended up going back to my dads after a few days and I was beyond depressed. I was grounded. To my room. (No surprise there! This was a daily thing for me.) No phone. No computer. No going outside. No nothing. I couldn’t even call my mom for hell sake! I couldn’t handle it anymore. I sat in my bedroom, on my bed, bawling my eyes out, and wrote a letter. I had my little brother take it upstairs to my parents. I basically said it was let me move in with my mom or bury me. I couldn’t handle anything anymore. That night, my dad had my step-mom get rid of all the pills in the house and he bought a safe for all of the guns shortly after. They never said anything to me about it though. I moved out the next day. It was one of the best and one of the worst days of my life. Good because my life completely turned around. 360 degrees. Worst because I had to leave my brother and sister behind. I can remember my brother asking me, “Why are you leaving me?” I was only going one town away, but that question still haunts me.

Times were still rough for a little while, until the end of the that year, but then, I decided to put everything behind me because I wasn’t going to live like that anymore. I promised myself to never get that low again. To never think those thoughts again. To never want to hurt myself. To reach out to someone if I need help.

Today, I am a mom. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am {almost!} a wife. I am strong. I have broad shoulders. I am confident. I am caring. I am sensitive. I get along with both my mom and dad. I am loved. I am cared for. And I am happy.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone! Feel free to email me! There are hotlines you can call {1-800-SUICIDE}. There are support groups you can join. Killing yourself is NOT taking the easy way out.

Be Aware of Sexual Predators

Think about this crazy world we live in. Do you REALLY know who your neighbors are? Do you REALLY know if your neighbor hood is safe? Do you REALLY know who your kids are associating with? According to RAINN.org, EVERY TWO MINUTES someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.

For our Final project in my Mass Media class, we had to get in to groups of four and come up with something that we could do to help make the world a better place. We are to use at least three different forms of Mass Media to get the word out. We chose to do an article in our local newspaper, create a Facebook page, and this blog post. We are doing our project on Sexual Predators. We hope to inform people of where they are, how to find out if they are in your area, as well as the kind of people and signs to watch for and what you can do to get help.

First off, in Sevier County {where I live}, there are about 10 or so small towns and there are a total of 43 REGISTERED sex offenders. Now, know that these are just the ones that have been caught and had to register. There are many more out there that have yet to be caught – and that’s the scariest part! {We found this info here.} Just in the town where I live, there are 23 REGISTERED!! Ahh! Hide yo kids and hide yo wife!

Where to find sexual predators in your area:
I like City-Data.com {http://www.city-data.com/} because it breaks it down by cities/towns. From there, you can see exactly who it is {name and picture}, their aliases, description, address, crime, and other info. You can also Google it and lots of search results will come up, but I like this one best because you don’t have to add in a lot of info, just click on your state and town.

People and signs to watch for:
Another scary stat I found on RAINN.org, approximately 2/3 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim and 38% of rapists are friends or acquaintances.

The following is directly from Dr.Phil.com
Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board and Dr. Phil’s mentor, offers some insight into the development of a sexual predator:

“The typical sexual predator is very immature in his or her understanding of intimacy. It is like they really want closeness, but they lack the skills to feel satisfaction and trust. These feelings of frustration erupt into anger many times, and it is in this stage that the individual can become dangerous. Their acts are desperate. They try to find intimacy and caring for themselves, but when they can’t find it in appropriate ways, they demand it or find a child who has little resistance,” says Dr. Lawlis. “It is common to find parents of sexual predators also weak in skills of affection. Consequently, they cannot train or offer to meet these needs for their child. And then the cycle continues.”

There are some common characteristics of sexual predators. If you’re worried your teen may be a sexual predator, look for these warning signs:

• Refusal to take responsibility for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures
• A sense of entitlement
• Low self-esteem
• Need for power and control
• Lack of empathy
• Inability to form intimate relationships with adults
• History of abuse
• Troubled childhood
• Deviant sexual behavior and attitudesFrom the book, Protecting Your Children from Sexual Predators, by Dr. Leigh M. Baker.Other Tips on Spotting a Sexual Predator:

• Often offend where they won’t get caught ” when they have misdirected people’s attention
• Often married or in relationships
• Offend when the victim is handy
• Not always strangers, often family members, family friends and neighbors
• Most attracted to adults
• Good manipulators (seduction is an integral part)
• Overly self-indulgent
• Arrogant
• Sexualize, objectify women
• Users of various kinds of pornography
• Typically known as rationalizers, intellectualizers, justifiers
• Great helpers ” are there to lend a helping hand ” prey on people in need, when they can insinuate themselves in your life
• Use stressful and vulnerable situations to get in ” they find a need they can fill and they use that to get next to the victim

Common Attributes of Child Molesters:
— from A Profile of the Child Molester

• Pedophiles are notoriously friendly, nice, kind, engaging and likeable.
• Pedophiles target their victims, often insinuating themselves into that child’s life through their family, school, house of worship, sports, and hobbies.
• Pedophiles are professional con artists and are experts at getting children and families to trust them.
• Pedophiles will smile at you, look you right in the eye and make you believe they are trustworthy.

Dr. Phil reminds parents they must watch everyone in their child’s life!

What you can do to get help:
If you ever feel like you are in a dangerous situation, get to a phone and call 911. SO many people do not report their crimes {in general, but I am trying to stick to sexual crimes} and it’s extremely important that you do! According to RAINN.org, 54% of sexual assaults are NOT reported. That’s awful! It also states that 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. I understand it’s difficult, but it’s not okay to let these awful people get away with hurting others. There are also Hotlines that you can call for help.

Did you know that April is National Sexual assault Awareness Month? Click on the picture above to find out more info.

Another very important tip – in ANY situation – is to TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!! I cannot tell myself that enough! I’m 20 years old and my gut instinct has yet to fail me!!

I will continue to post helpful tips as time goes on, but in the meantime, PLEASE like our Facebook page so you can be informed all the time.

Diabetes Awareness {Guest Post}

In this world we live in today, more and more children are becoming obese. This is a touchy subject with a lot of people because many people just don’t know what to do or how to stop it! How do you change your ways? How do you change your eating habits? It’s something that NEEDS to be talked about and not just swept under the rug.

Today I have Carolyn here from Full on Fit to raise awareness!

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Holiday Season with Diabetes Awareness: Helping Kids  

Kids love the holidays, no matter which ones they are – and who doesn’t? Presents, sweet treats, fun decorations; it’s a time all about having fun and being with friends and family. This past November, National Diabetes Awareness Month kicked into full gear, and for the first time ever, I had a personal reason to be active in the awareness campaign: one of my little cousins had just recently been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.

After doing some initial research, I realized how many families are actually affected by this disease. According to Syracuse’s St. Joseph’s Hospital Cardiac Center, 1 out of every 3 kids is overweight or obese, and the number of Type 2 Diabetes cases among children is rising. For parents who worry about their child’s diet and exercise habits, it’s never too late to start healthy, even in the midst of the holiday season.

Eating Right  

A good meal is what sets the tone for kids. With proper nutrition, “overweight” kids can overcome overeating and sugar addiction habits early on. At all times of the year, but especially with the upcoming holidays of St. Patrick’s Day and Easter, parents need to focus a child’s diet on healthier foods as much as possible.

Hearty roasted vegetables like squash, broccoli, green beans, carrots and spinach are all great options, while also allowing for smaller proportions of starchy veggies and grains like potatoes, rice, pasta and whole grain bread. This Easter dinner, try a healthy Mediterranean dish of roasted broccoli and harvest tomatoes, orange-scented green beans with toasted almonds, glazed mini carrots, cauliflower puree with garlic butter and stuffed acorn squash with cheddar and chard.

For smaller proportions, look for recipes that incorporate shrimp, turkey, chicken, mashed potatoes, cream corn and rice. Whole grain bread sides are also encouraged but should be moderately consumed. Parents can keep an eye on carbohydrates, sugar and glucose intake by reading labels and preparing meals that are low in sugar. It’s also important to make sure that kids are getting some treats and balancing their healthy meals with an occasional splurge. It’s safe for a few pieces of candy or a small slice of pie once in a while!

Exercise! 
To burn off energy, kids need to get up and move around. Overweight and obese children often suffer more because they are sedimentary and prefer to stay inside rather than move around. The best way to get kids moving is to play games, dance and get creative with “exercise” so that it doesn’t seem so daunting.
Dance Off

Families can partake in a fun dance-off challenge, where everyone gets together and shows their best moves. Kids can make up their own dances to songs and receive silly awards for craziest moves, most daring spins, etc.  The point is to get kids to dance for an hour and burn calories in a silly way that’s also fun, becoming a fun family tradition tradition.

Family Fun Days
For one week, plan events every day to do as a family that are active and outdoors as part of “Family Fun Days.” This can be competitive or just for fun. One day could be a basketball game, the next scavenger hunt/Easter Egg Hunt or St. Patrick’s Day scavenger hunt for the leprechaun’s gold! . Each day can have a different yet active event to get kids up and moving around!   

Carolyn is a 20-something year old with a passion for life, fitness and overall well-being. She is an avid cycler, golfer and has been known to bust some serious moves on the dance floor. Check out Carolyn’s blog at http://fullonfit.blogspot.com/!

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Thanks Carolyn! That was great. I think her suggestions are something each of us need to take in to consideration. Let’s get {and keep!} our kids healthy! Be sure to stop by her blog and say HI!