Alright, here it is. These are definitely things that no one told me about pregnancy and motherhood. Things that all moms endure. Things I was not prepared for. I’ve had three kids now and these things are definitely real and happened each time.
Please know right now that some of this stuff may make you cringe. I’m trying not to sugar coat anything because I don’t like it when people do that to me! I’m trying to let my voice shine here, okay? 😉
When I got pregnant with Kamryn, my second child, I had googled the heck out of pregnancy symptoms. They are all very closely related to starting your period, so it is hard to know. Hindsight is always 20/20, right? After I found out I was pregnant, I could name three red flags (though that sounds dangerous – it wasn’t) that I saw before, but didn’t realize what they actually were. Flag #1 – I went to Lake Powell and burnt so bad. I hardly ever get a burn. Flag #2 – I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. Flag #3 – I was so gassy. I remember when I was pregnant with Karsyn, my first, someone told me, “I knew I was pregnant because I was so gassy.” Unfortunate, but true. Looking back, I should have known that I was pregnant based on those three things happening all around the same time. When I got pregnant with my third, I immediately knew the first night I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. Didn’t even need to test – though I did because it was a very unexpected pregnancy. That is a story I will tell you soon.
So all of these things lead me to the 17 things no one told me about being pregnant and having a baby..
#1 – Already mentioned above. The gassy-ness. All of your guts are moving and twisting and shrinking and loosening, etc. This causes loose bowls. Which in turn, leads to lots and lots of farts. It’s not even going to matter what you eat – though some things could make your farts smell worse. 😉
#2 – This goes along with #1.. Ooooooh, diarrhea. (Cue the songs that we used to sing in 1st grade.) Once again, it doesn’t really matter what you eat… You’re bound to have diarrhea every now and then. More than normal. Even when you’re not sick.
#3 – And while we’re talking about poop, you should know that you won’t always have soft turds. Sometimes, you will have really big, hard turds that when you push it out, you feel like you just might push your kid out, too. And guess what that causes? You guessed it (or maybe you didn’t).. ‘roids! Yep. Hemorrhoids. Ahh. Such a beautiful thing – pregnancy, motherhood, all of it. Guess what else? They may go away and come back. And go away and come back. Several times throughout pregnancy. You’ll probably push them out while pushing out your baby. And then after you have the baby. They are painful when pushing and very itchy and easily irritated. I highly recommend using a liner and some tucks for when they creep on out. And definitely don’t wear a thong. Granny panties will be your new bestie.
#4 – Alright. This might be the last one on the subject of poop. That first poop after having a baby is straight up scary! I can remember clenching my fists or holding onto something tightly – white knuckle tight – while working up the courage to push a little harder. It’s really not terrible – it’s just the thought. Though it could be a little painful if you’ve got the ‘roids I mentioned above. The hospital will likely give you laxatives to help soften and make this experience not so painful. It may take a couple days for that first poop, as well, so don’t be alarmed if your schedule is a little off.
#4 – The amount of mucus your body produces. I swear, my nose was raw my entire pregnancy from blowing it so much! I also felt like I needed to clean my ears 138 times a day. And the amount of discharge you have is a lot. Don’t be alarmed. But you have been warned! Don’t say I didn’t tell you. It might be wise to wear a liner.
#5 – I didn’t realize how much hair I lost with my second until it started growing back. I didn’t see when it was happening, but man – those baby hairs were everywhere! And you can’t get them to stay down. Your hair also may come out in clumps. Especially when washing. I remember looking down at the floor in the shower after my first and was honestly concerned at the amount of hair that was circling the drain. With my third, the breakage was unreal! I’m still in the middle of it right now since he’s only 8 weeks old. My hair is to the top of my pant line right now, but some parts are only a couple inches long.
#6 – Your hair may change! Along with lots of other things in your body. I used to curl my hair all the time without any problems. After I had my second, my hair would not hold a curl for more than 5 minutes. It was incredibly frustrating and sad! I loved my curled hair. I’ve since got a L’ange wand and it has made a huge difference! It will stay curled for days again. I’m so happy I found something that worked.
#7 – The pains your body feels is unlike anything. It’s not always painful – for me anyway. But there random things that really hurt. Like Charlie horses. Man alive! I’ve gotten them when I’m not pregnant, as well, but it seems they happen frequently in pregnancy. Especially during intimate times haha. “Ahhh.. Gotta stop for a sec. Charlie horse.” Real romantic.
#8 – Another pain is lightening crotch. It’s like a super sharp shooting pain right through your crotch. Not fun. Doubled over kind of pain. But luckily, it only lasts for a second or two.
#9 – The most painful kind of pain during my last pregnancy was the pelvic pressure. It started about 30 weeks or so. It literally felt like he was going to fall right out. Standing on one leg (think putting your pants on and taking them off.. walking.. ya know..). Ouch. I never found anything that would relieve the pain. It was constant. So that sucked.
Now let’s get into the things that happen after pregnancy…
#10 – The massaging of the uterus. This is done to make sure that your uterus is shrinking as it should and going back to normal. I promise you this is unlike any massage you’ve ever had in your entire life. Hands down the most painful massage I’ve ever had. I’d even go as far to say it’s the most painful pair of labor and delivery. It’s basically like they’re kneading bread.
#11 – The contractions don’t stop once you have the baby. That also goes along with #10. You will continue to have contractions for several days or even weeks to shrink your uterus back down to normal size. And if you nurse, they really come on strong while doing that. It’s super uncomfortable, but bearable.
#12 – You have no dignity for a while after. I guess this could be included in the pregnancy part, as well. But especially during delivery. There’s 5987208 people in the room. Your legs are up in the air with all of your lady bits there for the world to see. It’s so funny because when you’re done, they’ll tell you, “I’ll step out while you get dressed.” Uh.. You just saw me push a kid out. Pretty sure you can stand here while I get my clothes on. Same goes for your routine visits. “Here’s the crotchless pants. I’ll be right back.” Well, you’re going to look inside my body through these crotchless pants. I think you can stay.
#13 – The mesh undies. Ugh. They are the most uncomfortable things on earth. I don’t even know if they can be called undies. They hurt your butt when you sit on them for too long, but they are absolutely necessary because of the gigantic diaper that you have to wear for the first week or two. I wish I would have learned about these Frida postpartum undies before because I absolutely would have invested in them!
#14 – And speaking of undies.. You’ll probably pee them. More than once. I don’t pee when I sneeze or when I jump on the tramp like some moms do, but I definitely peed my pants a fair amount of times within the first month after having each baby. Your muscles are so loose and stretched from pregnancy, labor and delivery. It will take a minute for them to get back in check! If you feel like you miiiiight need to be, do it! Don’t wait. Because if wait until you’re sure, it’s too late.
#15 – Okay, this is a weird one. It happens within a week or so of having your baby. Your guts fall back into place. I mean, they were squished and smooshed and shoved in places they don’t belong so that there would be room for your baby to grow. It takes your breath away when it happens. Not because it hurts, but because it’s such a weird feeling. You can hear your guts sloshing around in there as they go back to where they should be.
#16 – How long everything takes. When I had my first, I was working from home selling clothes and jewelry, so I was never on a real time schedule. Six and a half years later when I had my second, I was working full-time, so we did have a schedule and routine that we needed to stick to. I forgot how much time everything takes when you have a new baby! If you nurse, you know that takes about 30 minutes each time – feed on each side, burp in between, etc. Changing a diaper is five minutes because you have to unbutton all of their clothes, make sure you wipe effectively, button all the clothes back up, etc. If the baby has a blowout, even longer. {And how do you take off the clothes without wiping the poop all over the baby??} Getting the baby dressed is five minutes because they are flailing their arms and legs all over the place. You have to push the arms through the hole because the baby doesn’t know how, etc. If you have an appointment, you’ve got to get going easily an hour before you normally would.
#17 – The last thing I can think of is… Pregnancy brain. Baby brain. Mom brain. Same thing. It’s very real. It’s actually been proven that a woman’s grey matter really does decrease while pregnant. It generally comes back within a couple years, but I’ll tell you what. My oldest is 8.5 and I still don’t feel like I have my whole brain back. Yes, I did just have a baby 8 weeks ago, but even during the 6.5 year span in between Karsyn and Kamryn, I still had a lot of brain fog and forgetfulness. Don’t beat yourself up if you forget to pick up your kid from school or send lunch money. Laugh at yourself when you look for your baby… That is in your arms. Laugh at yourself when you are looking for your phone… While talking on it.
So there you have it, friends! The real truth. This is what I’d tell my best friend. Fun, right? Ya know, with all that aside, motherhood is amazing. I hope that everyone that wishes to experience motherhood, gets to.
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What did I forget? What did you wish someone would have told (warned) you about?
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Two Million Miles 