Things I Think…

I was inspired by Bonnie to write this post.

{P.S. If you still haven’t checked her out, you need to! She’s HILARIOUS!}

Sorry if I offend anyone, that’s not my intention!!

I am going to tell you a few things I think..

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THINGS I THINK WHILE DRIVING:

*Anyone over the age of 50 needs to retake their driving test every year.
*Anyone over the age of 60 needs to retake their driving test every month.
*Anyone over the age of 70 SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING! {Kidding.. Kinda..}
*If you don’t go the freaking speed limit, I am going to freak the hell out!
*I swear to the good guy above that if another car makes it so I can’t pass this dude in front of me..
*Riding my ass will NOT make the person in front of me go faster.
*Ever heard of a blinker?! Jackass!
*Don’t you DARE pull in front of me.
*Get off your damn phone and pay attention!
*I {almost} wish I would’ve just let you hit me so that I could get a new bumper.

{If you haven’t noticed already, I have EXTREMELY bad road rage!}

THINGS I THINK WHILE AT THE GROCERY STORE:

*Did you honestly think you looked good when you left the house?
*Crack kills.
*You could get yourself all ready and lookin’ good but could give a shit less about your kid? She looks like an orphan!
*Cashier: “Out of $20?” – Me: “No, let me just give you a couple more bills so that you can just hand them back to me. YES, OUT OF $20!”
*Cashier: “Will that be all for you today?” – Me: “No, I’d like all this invisible stuff, too.”
*Where the frick did the good Cordon Bleus go and how come no one in this department knows?!
*Why are the mayo and mustard on the candy aisle?
*Why is it that when I don’t get ready, I see everyone I know, but when I get all ready, I don’t see anyone?

THINGS I THINK WHILE COOKING:

*Why can’t you cook me dinner?
*Can’t you just make yourself something?
*I hate cooking.
*This recipe calls for brocoli? Forget it. I’m not making this.

So what do you think while driving or while dinner or while cooking?

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4 thoughts on “Things I Think…

  1. OMG this is awesome. Good for you if you just *think* those things. Me? I point my finger and chastise other drivers. “Were you seriously going to pull out in front of me? Oh we’ll see about that” (as I purposely let my foot off the gas to creep to a crawl AND check my FB simultaneously). Yeah – I’m that girl. Good thing I only leave the house once a week huh? Btw – I’m the chick in the skull pj pants w/my hair in a bun at the grocery store. And yes, that is sawdust in my hair. Thanks for noticing. 🙂 ~ Dee

  2. Pingback: I blame the paint fumes & other random thoughts | DeeConstructed

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